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Tuesday, December 6, 2011
The Art of Experience to the Path of Singularity
Sunday, December 4, 2011
THE WOUNDED HEALER
I have so many reasons why I haven’t sent out my newsletter, so I will have to just put it under the umbrella of “life has been exceptionally eventful”. I guess before I ever entered this human body I signed up for all of these lessons which brings me to ask myself, “What the hell was I thinking?” I can’t say that any of it is bad or good because honestly experience has taught me that what I thought was a good thing wasn’t really what I needed and what I thought was bad turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. I won’t go into details but I am on the path of getting physically stronger allowing me to move into the next chapter in my life, hence, “the wounded healer.”
For those of you who know me well, you know that I am committed to moving towards healing with sound. Not an original idea as it started with the Pythagorus, the father of mathematics, vegetarianism and harmonic sound healing along with being a gifted astrologer and astronomer. Music therapy is the more common of the modalities in the last 30 years, but the way I want to work is a little more about the use of the full harmonic spectrum than say, strumming a guitar while singing to the recipient. I will include essential oils, color and crystals – but the emphasis is on sound.
I have my tools, the template from which I want to work but what I don’t have in place is “me”. I have to heal me first. And even though I truly believe that this will work, I won’t really “know” until I utilize my template, on my own physical/mental/spiritual issues. There is a knowing and then there is a KNOWING. It seems to me that as healers (which I believe we all are) the insights into how we can be ministers of suffering especially in these times where many suffer specifically from the isolation that comes from our individualistic condition that we can call “nuclear man”, we have to journey through our own sufferings and isolation so that through our own wounds we too can offer a sincere healing. We heal by relating at a very deep level to the suffering of those we encounter. We speak of social issues like poverty, immigration or criminal justice but until we can integrate through our own experience the isolated feelings of marginalization, which at some level we all experience in different forms, then we are not addressing these issues at a spiritual level.
As a voice coach I’m good because I have been there. I lost my voice due to poor habits and then went through the long journey of finding my voice. Not only that, but I bring 40 years of experience to the student as I have been out in the field living a life of a musician. Though rewarding, it was mostly heartbreaking. I have learned many powerful lessons that I now can share. The student believes me because I am coming from a place of true passion, not a place of academia which frankly, I just have never been that interested in and had nothing to do with the grand teacher of them all, experience.
But on a larger scale we can look at all of our great teachers and/or messengers of truth. Ghandi, Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed, Moses, Bill W (founder of AA) and others…..they teach what they undertook , most of them by choice which makes it even more meaningful, their own journey of isolation and injustice. Through them we can enjoy the hope that comes through their redemptive suffering. Even in Greek Mythology, the wounded healer comes up over and over again. For example, the Titan god Prometheus, had been chained to a rock by Zeus, the chief Olympian god. Being chained to the rock was to be his (Prometheus') punishment for having previous stolen fire from Olympia as a gift to mortals. Each day Zeus' eagle would come and eat Prometheus' liver. Each night the liver would heal itself. Then the eagle would come again for his liver snacks. As stipulated by Zeus - Prometheus could only be released if (and when) an immortal offered to go to Tartarus and take his place. Going to Tartarus would mean the immortal was giving up his status as an immortal and would die. Chiron, being the son of Kronus and half-brother of Zeus, agreed to take the place of Prometheus, and then eventually died. Upon his death, he was then released from his wound that would never heal. Chiron was then honored with the constellation of Centaurus. Giving up one’s immortal life with a compassionate act is a lesson that I believe needs to be fine-tuned not only in me but if I can be so presumpitious, for mankind as well. What this world be like, if all we ever did was treat each other with compassion out of our own suffering?
This hope becomes our well spring through which our own suffering can offer others a vision of redemption. The reason these actions bring converts rather than ridicule is because the message of caring is not just an empty word but a living reality that people can see, feel and then benefit within the communal experience. In other words, wounds and weaknesses of all humanity are healed by the collective which is just another word for the divine SOURCE allowing a shared compassion due to our fellow human beings suffering.
When I look at my life and then turn an inward eye back out to my brothers and sisters, I am convinced that the reason we are all here is to learn, then live in love and compassion. Judgment is not mine to own but instead, removing judgment in an effort to retrieve the memory we must have all had at one time - we are all cells in the same body…. knowing that the single cell is only healthy as a whole. The inward eye is upon me. Once again the solution, the beginning, the vision lies within the hub of the wheel as my wounds may give measure of the knowledge and compassion to heal. After all, the deeper the pain that is exposed, the more universal it will be understood.
Bullying Versus The Hero
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Tuesday, November 29, 2011
COMPETITION EQUALS VICTIMIZATION
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Thursday, July 14, 2011
Peace in the Moment and Within
"Anything in life that we don't accept will simply make trouble for us until we make peace with it."...Shakti Gawain
Hindus have their Gods. Christians have Saints. There are thousands of them and, like our Gods, each one ' looks after' a particular part of the world. There are Saints for Lost Causes, and a Saint for acne. There are Saints for death row inmates and Saints for love. There are hundreds of Saints for animals , who have demonstrated acts of compassion and charity on creatures great and small. But I'm not sure there is a Saint for time management or a Saint for believing that you have failed as a human being by not always doing the right thing. Both issues that have been coming up for me in the last month.
Let's start with the time management issue and really, maybe management is a misleading word. Because who in this world has the power to manage time? An elusive, manmade construct that is completely misleading when considering that our calendar is completely out of sync with the flow of the planets and their cycles - a universal knowing if you will - but I digress. The issue at hand is that I am falling backwards and not doing what is required for me to function in a healthy way. The exercise went out the window along with meditation, eating as healthy as I can and oh I don't know a list of many other things that I am not getting to.
With the opening of my own studio (Holistic Voice Institute) and the garden season upon us, it has been a bit much. Not only that but due to all the things I was trying to accomplish on my to do list, I got really sick and am on day number 14 with a cold virus thing that won't seem to let go. This slowed me down and as most of you know when you are sick, it seems like life is passing you by.
Now out of bed and getting back on the serenity train. I have hired a yoga instructor for my studio and looking for a trainer that can work out of my studio space, bringing them to me as I can't seem to get to them. The rest will follow I'm sure - just a temporary blip but even so, why can't I maintain a normalcy in my life? What is so fricking hard about it? Is it supposed to be hard? Is that the character building of it all? Taking joy in the appreciation so that when you achieve just a bit of it, you are grateful?
"Find joy and Peace in this very moment"...Thich Nhat Hanh
Lying in bed for four days I did finally come to a conclusion and that is - God made me perfect. I am in the image of God and if it's good enough for God, then dammit, it's good enough for me. It is time for me to make peace with who I am. Constantly picking at an etheric scab does not allow me to ever truly heal. With all that I am supposed to do to be a better human, I am losing sight of what actually makes me one. For example, I no longer have time to be connected to nature. I am not spending any of these precious life moments falling in love with Mother Earth which is a hands on daily exercise. I haven't written my newsletter which is an absolute joy for me and once again, connects me with something above my hair. So yeah, maybe I don't have clutter in my house, or I meditate regularly, or I eat right, or I exercise, or... or... or... or.....but what really matters to me is getting lost.
With the writing of this newsletter I am recommitting to what makes me tick. I am getting off the "to do list" and back into "Living in the present" which is to be aware of what is happening, of what I am doing and what I am feeling and thinking. It is being conscious of my thoughts and focusing them on the now. In this way I can look at situations as they are, not coloring them with past experiences. Living in such a way will make it easier to deal with whatever I am doing at the moment. See things as they are, without being influenced by fears, anger, desires or attachments.
There is a story about two friends traveling by train. One was very nervous, restless and full of complaints the whole trip. He was impatient to reach his destination, and disliked every moment of the trip. He did not pay attention to his surroundings, as his mind was full of impatient, restless and grumpy thoughts. His friend, on the other hand, enjoyed the scenery, drank a cup of coffee, ate a piece of cake and chatted with the other passengers. He enjoyed every moment the trip. He lived in the present moment and made the most of it. On arrival he was fresh and felt good. His friend, as expected, arrived exhausted, tired and unhappy. It is a matter of the right attitude. Life becomes a happy and enjoyable trip when the attitude toward it and its events is positive, and the present moment is used in the best possible way.
It is time for me to get on the train and enjoy the view. To wake up to the moment and live in it. The past happened, the to do list finds it place and I know longer am enslaved by thoughts and emotions, losing my freedom by living in the shoulda woulda coulda world. I have declared myself to be a citizen of the "world of the present moment". The world of peace of mind which frees me of unnecessary, burdensome and unpleasant thoughts. A world where I can stop pointing a finger at anyone including me and thrive in a peaceful state leading me to where peace lives within.
Anything in life we don't accept will simply make trouble for us until we make peace with it. This can only be achieved by knowing constant living and awareness of the present developing a new kind of awareness-consciousness. It is awareness of freedom, of being alive, of happiness, joy, peace and realizing the freedom from thoughts. There is nothing mysterious, mystical or out of this life about this concept. It is the most natural and positive state to exist in because when we learn to say a deep, passionate yes to the things that really matter, then peace within ourselves begins to settle onto our lives like golden sunlight sifting to a forest floor.
From my peaceful garden to yours.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Deserve To Love
It has been over two weeks since I have written the Cricket Newsletter. With all that is going on, to find time to just "write" seemed almost impossible. It's a little bit sad, because out of all the projects I have, Cricket Newsletter is one of my favorites. Besides the time factor, so much is going on in the world, that I just didn't seem to have anything that was important enough to write. But after this last week and the horrific circumstances in Japan, I was suddenly compelled to write something.
As the facts unfolded of the horrors of the earthquakes in both Christchurch, New Zealand and Japan, there was something that struck me in the center of my heart. And that was how the people in both catastrophes, handled themselves. I watched how hour after hour, family members would walk through debris, groups of people and government agencies in order to find loved ones. I saw how these people in quiet dignity stood in lines for water and small portions of food while huddled around heaters in makeshift tents. I cried as individuals described trying to hold on to loved ones, to no avail as the raging waters swept their children and spouses away. In all of this, I never felt pity but only admiration for how courageous and kind they were being to each other in the middle of their hell. Very much like the Taiwanese interacted when they were faced with the same horrors.
I wonder if this same kind of horror happened to this country if we would conduct ourselves the same way? Would we still hold on to our humanity while rebuilding, allowing us the realization that it was the only way to maintain and/or grow physically and spiritually? Or would we think that the government or the world or life needed to give us what we deserve? And what is it that we deserve? Who owes us? Anyone? Would we loot to our heart's content? Or would we look inside ourselves and find out what we are made of which may then lead us to rely on each other and then out of that building a stronger, richer and wiser community?
I will speak for myself on what I deserve. I was told a long time ago when I was living a very selfish life, by someone very wise, "If you got what you deserved you wouldn't be alive." Sounds harsh, I know, but honestly, that was the truth. I completely got it when I heard it. The statement drove home how much more I could be offering to the world. I needed to up my ante as a human being and become more useful but not only that, I had a moment of clarity that allowed me to see that false promises had been made to me on how life should be. On how easy it was supposed to be. Ah, I get it....work hard, enjoy the hard work and lower all expectations.
Maybe what I deserve is a crimson sunset. A hot bath. A monarch butterfly. The reassuring voice of a stranger. The gifts that nurture the soul. Maybe this is what are the special moments instead of yearning for a nice house, a big color TV, being famous or being rich. Maybe what we might be actually yearning for are the special moments to give balance to that which so often and easily becomes off-balance due to the hectic demands and increasing pressures of society, government, ad campaigns and what the next door neighbor has. I have known catastrophe to clear the way for divine energy to speak and filter through my senses so that the human spirit can be invigorated.
Now let me be clear, that my intention is not to minimize the horrific suffering that people in New Orleans, Australia, Haiti, New Zealand and Japan have been through. Far from it. It is just my way of putting a personal perspective on what is happening in a way that I can make sense of it. I have to remember that so often, people who have endured nothing less than catastrophic life experiences have most often come out victors rather than victims. When asked, "What was it that got you through your crisis?" Each person gives a similar answer. What they describe is what can be coined as "muscles of the soul." Those inner resources which help us dismantle and transcend the roadblocks on life's journey. These roadblocks include everything from the ex-spouse from hell to cancer to earthquakes.
The muscles of the soul include, but are not limited to courage, faith, humor, patience, compassion, imagination, humbleness, forgiveness, intuition, creativity, optimism, honesty and love. These are the resources people draw upon in times of crisis and catastrophe. They are not gifts for a chosen few. They are birthrights for each and every one of us. But, like our physical muscles, they will atrophy if not used. And while they will never disappear, in a weakened or inactive state, they will be as ineffective as the muscles of a sedentary person attempting a marathon.
In times of catastrophe we are called upon to use our inner resources and come through each situation the victor, not the victim. Our spiritual muscles are there for the asking. Spiritual health is flexing these muscles and feeling the strength they provide when needed.
I can only hope that my spiritual muscles have not atrophied when I am called upon to act in difficult times. I hope that I remember I am a spiritual being living in the physical. And with these hopes I pray for everyone that is suffering in this changing world. I choose that in the end what we are left with is love, light and compassion. I choose to live with an open heart expecting nothing in return. And may I be left with knowing the one thing we do deserve is that we deserve to love.
From my garden to yours.......... |