That is a pretty heavy quote. Actually, my mother, a wise old soul put it differently. "Kathleen, the minute you want something, the universe puts up roadblocks, so it's best not to "want" anything." Or in another case, my dear friend, Johnny B said in reply to me stating that I "wanted" to practice acceptance, said, "Why do you want anything, just learn to be." Ah, the perils of being human! I have to say that my experience in the spiritual realm tells me there seems to be forces at work trying to keep me from becoming my best, that try to keep me from progressing on my spiritual journey. Whatever these forces are they don't have my best interest in mind which means that the progression of a spiritual path stalls and I end up staying right where I am at. And to not want anything? Of course, that is pretty impossible as a human being - over the years I seemed to always be in a state of "wanting" something or the other. Even with my Taoist leanings of "everything you need is in the moment", it seems that I get popped out of Taoist serenity all too often.
But it is getting better. My list shortens and has more purpose. This last year, so much was accomplished that I can't believe it. Losing weight, working out, finding spiritual teachers, meditating, gardening, organizing my lifeto be more efficient, getting rid of clutter, the garden, the produce stand, finishing a book of poetry, getting two websites up, setting up a fund for families in need, moving into working spaces that are conducive for what I want to do and training in the etheric, spiritual and physical so that it can be applied to the voice and all that goes with it. The list continues for the new year; find time to write/read/study, going vegetarian, recording my next CD & a children's record both with original songs, opening up my own Voice Institute, go camping more often this summer and step up the physical activity. And of course the little cross hairs that get in the way - balancing and working within a budget and improving communications in business affairs. It's not a big list nor are these insurmountable - however, some of them get brushed under a rug, sidetracked, bamboozled and skewered - because I don't really want to do it (budget) or just get lost in the shuffle.
Oh, this just doesn't work anymore because as long as my thinking and/or headspace is taken up with all the internal chatter of life's clutter and whether my checkbook is balanced, it steals all the energy away from what may have more purpose for duties that ring through to a higher level. So stinking thinking takes over and leaves little room for loftier thoughts. Because of this realization, resolutions have now become something more important - however, they are no longer, what I "want". Instead I place my "needs" into right now and manifest as if it has already happened. I no longer get into the "I want" or even "I need" but rather state it as "I Am". Then I seem to become a co-creator, if you will, as opposed to a victim - someone waiting for something to happen to them. It seems to be working as now, I sometimes move almost too quickly towards my goals.
We live in a society of wanting - wanting something other than what we have. This is tricky ground to walk, filled with ego-driven landmines. The tightrope for me has been turning wanting into what my actual needs are and then living as if they are already in place. It takes some meditation, guidance and thought - but keeping the heart pure and my eye on the goal of what I am here to accomplish - seems to keep the journey honorable.
Years ago, while working with women who were ex-addicts and trying to put together clean pregnancies - would come to me worrying about every little thing. My standard reply was, "What are you worried about? It's already happened, you just haven't gotten there yet." (Believe me, there was a lot of eye rolling after that statement). How many times have I looked back and thought, how the hell did that all happen? Between the experience of living life and of course, the garden, have taught me to just "be" - the Water Course or the Way of the Tao. When in the garden, I compost, plant, water and then lower my expectations. Because of this the Taoist lessons of try without trying to act without acting come into play.
By doing so, maybe I won't attract the attention of those who want me to fail.
Or am I the culprit of the failure.....hmmm.........
With the beginning of the New Year I want to take a minute and thank those of you who take time out of your busy lives to read this newsletter. You have no idea, how much it means to me when you drop a note to tell me how you look forward to reading it. It means a lot because it confirms my belief that all of us are on the same journey - different modes of operandi, but the journeys are the same. My purpose of writing this newsletter is to share some of what I move through, hoping that it will strike a chord with some of you. Afterall, we are all part of the same cosmos and need each other to grow, love and share.
May your New Years be as loving and rewarding as we all deserve.
From my garden to yours......
Interesting writings. I enjoyed them.
ReplyDeleteJohn @ City brew