"Anything in life that we don't accept will simply make trouble for us until we make peace with it."...Shakti Gawain
Hindus have their Gods. Christians have Saints. There are thousands of them and, like our Gods, each one ' looks after' a particular part of the world. There are Saints for Lost Causes, and a Saint for acne. There are Saints for death row inmates and Saints for love. There are hundreds of Saints for animals , who have demonstrated acts of compassion and charity on creatures great and small. But I'm not sure there is a Saint for time management or a Saint for believing that you have failed as a human being by not always doing the right thing. Both issues that have been coming up for me in the last month.
Let's start with the time management issue and really, maybe management is a misleading word. Because who in this world has the power to manage time? An elusive, manmade construct that is completely misleading when considering that our calendar is completely out of sync with the flow of the planets and their cycles - a universal knowing if you will - but I digress. The issue at hand is that I am falling backwards and not doing what is required for me to function in a healthy way. The exercise went out the window along with meditation, eating as healthy as I can and oh I don't know a list of many other things that I am not getting to.
With the opening of my own studio (Holistic Voice Institute) and the garden season upon us, it has been a bit much. Not only that but due to all the things I was trying to accomplish on my to do list, I got really sick and am on day number 14 with a cold virus thing that won't seem to let go. This slowed me down and as most of you know when you are sick, it seems like life is passing you by.
Now out of bed and getting back on the serenity train. I have hired a yoga instructor for my studio and looking for a trainer that can work out of my studio space, bringing them to me as I can't seem to get to them. The rest will follow I'm sure - just a temporary blip but even so, why can't I maintain a normalcy in my life? What is so fricking hard about it? Is it supposed to be hard? Is that the character building of it all? Taking joy in the appreciation so that when you achieve just a bit of it, you are grateful?
"Find joy and Peace in this very moment"...Thich Nhat Hanh
Lying in bed for four days I did finally come to a conclusion and that is - God made me perfect. I am in the image of God and if it's good enough for God, then dammit, it's good enough for me. It is time for me to make peace with who I am. Constantly picking at an etheric scab does not allow me to ever truly heal. With all that I am supposed to do to be a better human, I am losing sight of what actually makes me one. For example, I no longer have time to be connected to nature. I am not spending any of these precious life moments falling in love with Mother Earth which is a hands on daily exercise. I haven't written my newsletter which is an absolute joy for me and once again, connects me with something above my hair. So yeah, maybe I don't have clutter in my house, or I meditate regularly, or I eat right, or I exercise, or... or... or... or.....but what really matters to me is getting lost.
With the writing of this newsletter I am recommitting to what makes me tick. I am getting off the "to do list" and back into "Living in the present" which is to be aware of what is happening, of what I am doing and what I am feeling and thinking. It is being conscious of my thoughts and focusing them on the now. In this way I can look at situations as they are, not coloring them with past experiences. Living in such a way will make it easier to deal with whatever I am doing at the moment. See things as they are, without being influenced by fears, anger, desires or attachments.
There is a story about two friends traveling by train. One was very nervous, restless and full of complaints the whole trip. He was impatient to reach his destination, and disliked every moment of the trip. He did not pay attention to his surroundings, as his mind was full of impatient, restless and grumpy thoughts. His friend, on the other hand, enjoyed the scenery, drank a cup of coffee, ate a piece of cake and chatted with the other passengers. He enjoyed every moment the trip. He lived in the present moment and made the most of it. On arrival he was fresh and felt good. His friend, as expected, arrived exhausted, tired and unhappy. It is a matter of the right attitude. Life becomes a happy and enjoyable trip when the attitude toward it and its events is positive, and the present moment is used in the best possible way.
It is time for me to get on the train and enjoy the view. To wake up to the moment and live in it. The past happened, the to do list finds it place and I know longer am enslaved by thoughts and emotions, losing my freedom by living in the shoulda woulda coulda world. I have declared myself to be a citizen of the "world of the present moment". The world of peace of mind which frees me of unnecessary, burdensome and unpleasant thoughts. A world where I can stop pointing a finger at anyone including me and thrive in a peaceful state leading me to where peace lives within.
Anything in life we don't accept will simply make trouble for us until we make peace with it. This can only be achieved by knowing constant living and awareness of the present developing a new kind of awareness-consciousness. It is awareness of freedom, of being alive, of happiness, joy, peace and realizing the freedom from thoughts. There is nothing mysterious, mystical or out of this life about this concept. It is the most natural and positive state to exist in because when we learn to say a deep, passionate yes to the things that really matter, then peace within ourselves begins to settle onto our lives like golden sunlight sifting to a forest floor.
From my peaceful garden to yours.
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