As the Bluegrass festival approaches, Joe and I are getting busier and busier. Right now, technically I have three jobs. The garden/produce stand, teaching voice and voice over workshops (training voices for commercials) and festival producer. I get up in the mornings and literally pace, until I can find the rhythm of what I should do first. It is overwhelming and I only have myself to blame. Why I would think that producing a Bluegrass Festival is a good idea at this time in my life, really has me stumped. When I look back a few months ago at when I shot off my big mouth that this would be a great fundraiser, I really didn't think it through. Now, I have done this before and it usually turns out just fine, but I am training myself to say no, to just about everything. Is it selfish, you bet! Is that okay? You bet! Because this selfishness will give me the energy to do something that may actually matter before I move on into the next world.
I have lived a life that many people envy. Everything from writing a play that ran close to a dozen times, to being nominated and/or the recipient for over 50 industry awards, to performing for thousands of people, to producing major events. But I am here to tell you, that none of that is enviable. That life is hard, self-serving, narcisstic and as far as I can tell, didn't really do much to help make this planet a better place. I have a tendency to always compare what is going on in my small life with the backdrop of world events. This week, 10 million Chinese were misplaced due to mudslides. In Pakistan, thousands have been killed and many more due to flooding. In Moscow, almost a million acres have burned due to wild fires with no end in sight. So how important is my silly career? Or a festival? Or if I win or don't win an award. In the scheme of things, it means nothing.
All I can come up with for a meaningful existence is to be kind (I fail at this daily, someone always pisses me off; this week the phone company), have an open heart and try to live consciously, hence the garden, recycle, organic, neighborhood sustainability and love. One of my favorite customers, told me that I exude passion for the produce stand and sharing the food. It's true, I do feel passion for the first time, in a long time. As passion dissipated, towards the end of my career, this beautiful island rescued me. It has filled my heart with beauty, solitude and maybe one day, peace, if I can sit still long enough to appreciate it.
I received a note from one of my customers, Karen Kelly. She wrote; "I want to commend you, Joe and Judy.. think about mother earth and her rewards! I look forward to reading your email's each week. They're heartfelt and informative. They truly show your commitment to the process of community and living organic! My husband and I have a cottage on the north channel with an organic vegetable/flower garden. I've been canning organic salsa for at least 10 years. I also make homemade pesto and freeze it for the winter. As you know, some years yield more tomatoes then others and my basil always grows good so I always have pesto in my freezer. We plant beans, tomatoes(cherry, regular & roma), basil, zucchini, Japanese cucumbers, Japanese eggplants, green & red peppers, jalapenos, banana peppers, chili peppers & habanero's. We try to eat it all, give it to our kids or freeze it for later in the winter! I read that you are having trouble with the weeds in your garden. We use our grass clippings as mulch for our garden. This really knocks down the weeds. Also, as you know, if you plant flowers in with your veggies, they bring in the good bugs that will eat the bad bugs on your veggies. Thank you again for all of the organic gardening tips and recipes! What a great summer it's been for our veggie and flower gardens. As I sit on my dock at sunset and look around me at all of the nature...I truly think I've got my own slice of heaven! Mother Earth, she's a powerful gal!!!
That note is more powerful than all the applause in China. If I am one of the lucky ones, I will continue to grow into a better human being with the aid of my beautiful garden, which teaches me patience, quest for knowledge, appreciation for detail, the collaborative rhythm of nature and most of all providing me with my niche for the first time in my life.
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