Let me say, that I have rarelly been bullied. As a matter of fact, in my younger days, I was probably the one who when I wasn't just seeking a good time, would pick on someone when I really had nothing better to do. This is hard for me to admit as I can't believe I took part in this kind of behaviour. Bottom line, shame on me. But because I was the oppressor and not the oppressed, I have an understanding on why some would do what they do. I was hurting inside for a mulittude of reasons which are no longer important, and because of the pain, I was looking for some sort of recognition, but most importantly, love.
Bullying comes in many colors as it is insidious. I see it everywhere. The chiropractor who is next door to my business and terrorizes anyone that parks in his parking lot (even though he sees one client at a time and there are 20 parking spaces), a woman who runs a group and pits young girls against each other so that she can get her way, a dance studio who bullies their dancers so that they have more control. It is everywhere.
What has caused me to write this is that Congress is now going to pass an anti-bulling act. I'm sure that the people that have been bullied, feel some sort of justice is being served. But honestly, I can't see how it's really going to do anything to change anything. Bascially, it is another law on the books. It is a band aid in treating a virus that is systemic in the missing layers of our culture's skin. The psyche - and that is where we go to find out why bullying is an epic problem. Under the skin to the root of what might be going on.
In order for a society to function, there has to be a certain level of trust. Each day when we leave our homes, we take for granted that most people are not going to attack us for no reason, that there will only be isolated incidents of theft in our community and that rioting and violence are not going to erupt in the streets. Whether we realize it or not, we depend on the fact that the vast majority of the people around us are going to act in a civilized manner. Unfortunately, the thin veneer of civilization that we all take for granted is starting to disappear. When I was growing up, I was taught that challenging times reveal our true character. There are many that believe that the declining economy is causing a lot of the chaos that we are now witnessing, but perhaps what is going on is that these challenging economic times are simply revealing the character that has been there all along. For decades, a "false prosperity" that was fueled by unprecedented amounts of debt has masked a lot of the internal rot that has taken hold in America. But now that our prosperity is crumbling, our lack of values is becoming startlingly clear.
Greed, corruption and extreme self-centeredness have deeply infected our society. We see this in every country. We see this among those that are trying to survive on the mean streets of our largest cities. Civilization is breaking down on every level... desperate people do desperate things. Instead of teaching our children to love and care for one another, we have taught them to be incredibly self-involved. Today, way too many Americans deeply love themselves, deeply love money and are deeply addicted to entertainment. Each new generation seems to be even more prideful, even more arrogant and even more violent. As a nation, we are losing our empathy for others, our compassion for the needy and our respect for the elderly.
So why the shock that there are bullies? I mean, when someone is surprised that their child has been bullied and how can other children be so cruel, my first thought is, are you kidding? We live in a country that is fighting three wars, and as far as I can tell has been bullying the rest of the world for sometime. The bulling is trickling downstream from our leaders into the collective mindset.
So here we are looking at ourselves in the great cosmic mirror and maybe - taking a really good look for the first time in years. We have all of this pent up anger and angst over man made constructs that really have nothing to do with quality of life. Seeing and feeling being human without any mythology in tow to investigate and know our psyche. Hanging in a void of "well that doesn't work but then what does"?
I propose that we turn from celebrity and look to the hero within. The part of us that reaches beyond the normal range of achievement and experience. Give our lives to something bigger than oneself. Connect with the physical deed, in which we perform a courageous act in battle and the spiritual deed, in which we learn to experience the supernormal range of human spiritual life allowing us to find our message. Pursuing leaving the world that we are in and go into a depth or into a distance or up to a height. There we come to what was missing in our consciousness in the world we formerly inhabited. Facing the problem of staying with that, and letting the world drop off, or returning with the wisdom while trying to hold on to the new way as we move back into our social world again.
We have not slayed our own dragons. We have forgotten the importance of the journey as we crave instant gratification which has led us to right where we are standing. Picking on, judging, and bullying each other. I say take out our swords and cut away the web of deceit, keeping us from being who we truly are. A human being who is connected to all others, joined heart to heart, remembering how to love.
From my garden to yours......
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